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I read it again…

Posted by Sandra on April 17, 2009

“I’m not allowed to” (insert your own here) – drink and eat while in labor/get out of bed while in labor/refuse an IV/refuse constant monitoring/go home the same day/etc. etc. etc.

I know I’ve said it before.  I know I’m a broken record.  I don’t care.  I want women to have fantastic birthing experiences like I did.  Like millions of other women who take control do.

Who’s paying who for a service here?  YOU are paying THEM.  It’s no different than paying for a meal at a restaurant – you want steak, they say “oh, honey, no you don’t”, you INSIST that yes you do.  And you GET that steak. 

Your doctors are not gods.  They do not necessarily know what’s best for you at that exact moment.  If you are hungry, you need to eat.  If you are thirsty, you must drink.  If your doctor believes you can’t, then he needs to go back to medical school because that myth has been debunked over and over again.  No wonder women that labor for 5+ hours get weaker and weaker, and ultimately end up with intervention after intervention.  I wonder how many women that ended up having dangerous major abdominal surgery (okay, c-sections if it sounds better), because they couldn’t progress or couldn’t continue laboring, would’ve had wonderful normal deliveries if their docs hadn’t been wrong about them eating a sandwich and drinking a cup of coffee or a soda or a glass of water?  You can’t drive a car with no gas!!

And being forced to lay in a bed with monitors on is horrible!  If you are healthy, baby is healthy, and you are fine, your doctor cannot force you to lay in bed.  Get up.  Walk around.  There are many experts that think being hooked up to monitors leads to interventions too – baby’s heartbeat naturally speeds up and slows down, but docs jump so fast on the panic wagon that many women are led to believe their baby is in danger, when in fact there’s no problem at all.

And nope, they can’t force you to be hooked to an IV either.  If you’re aiming for a drug-free delivery (yay you!), and aren’t having pitocin or other dangerous meds to help this completely natural process along… refuse.  You have CHOICES!! I mean, this is your body!  This is your baby!  Want to sit up to give birth?  DO IT!  Don’t want genital mutilation – I mean an episiotomy?  Then TELL THEM!  Very VERY few deliveries actually “need” an episiotomy.  This is NOT routine, regardless of what your doc says.  Just like your doc will tell you the epidural is perfectly safe… you need to keep in mind that most “rules” are not made for mom – they’re made for the medical staff to have you on a timeline so they can schedule whatever else they have going on and so that THEY have control.  This is why that horrible and completely self-defeating lithotomy (flat on back) position for birthing started – it’s easy for the doc

You know what?  It doesn’t matter what’s “easy” for the doc.  He’s getting paid a great deal of money to perform a service for YOU.  Not the other way around.

Do your homework, ladies, I beg of you.  Arm yourself with information.  KNOW what you want.  I can assure you that your doctor and nurses will appreciate you taking some control over your situation.  And you know what?  If they don’t like you taking control because then they may not make it home in time to watch Grey’s Anatomy, too bad.

Don’t end up with a childbirth experience you will look back on and be sad about.  Make it a beautiful, glorious day, make it everything you want. Don’t have a “lay there and nod” mentality.  This day is ALL about YOU.  Those doctors and nurses will go home and then deliver 300 more babies this year – this is your ONE chance to make it perfect.  You have the control, the ability, and the strength to do it.

And you know what else?  You can go home right away, within hours, to recover safe and sound in your own surroundings.  Didn’t know you could do that either?  Yup.  They can’t force you to stay if you and baby are healthy!

Here’s sending loads of hugs and prayers to those that are experiencing the wonderful journey of pregnancy.  Congratulations!


8 Responses to “I read it again…”

  1. rjg0f8 said

    I wish I would have refused the IV. I didn’t even get asked if I wanted it or not and didn’t even really know what the nurse was doing until it was already in me. And either way I didn’t know that I could refuse it. I wish I would have. I was swollen for most than two weeks after I had my baby boy due to that IV.

    Also, I had an amazing experience with a midwife! Nebraska, the state I live in is one of the only states that it is illegal for midwives to give birth at home. I didn’t mind I would rather give birth in the hospital here because it was like a hotel but many states you can choose to give birth at home or you can choose to have a midwife in the hospital as well. They are very trained in what they do. If you do need an emergency C section there are always doctors on call. Mine had been a labor nurse for 25 years. Many come when you are 5 cm dilated and so don’t come just to catch the baby like many docs do. She was fabulous. I decided to give birth without drugs and she was great at following my birth plan. She rubbed my back and did whatever it took to help me stay comfortable. Plus, through the pregnancy process they spend SO much more time with you than the doctors do. Do some research and some interviews! My experience was fabulous!

    Also, if you don’t like your labor nurse. Feel free to ask for another one. They are professionals so they really shouldn’t get offended. You are paying for your birthing experience so I agree that you should have the experience you desire. Not everyone clicks with everyone so feel the freedom to get a nurse that you enjoy.

    • Sandra said

      Thank you! I forgot about asking for someone else… lol! I just went in and told everyone to leave me and hubby alone and I would call when someone should come to “catch”, so I don’t even know who my nurse was for my last baby…

  2. Nicole said

    Sandra….I LOVE it!! Well said and well stated. If enough of us continue to stand on our soap boxes and shout the truth eventually women of this country will HAVE to hear us!!! I am still working in the hospitals and so few women have the courage to refuse interventions. They have been brainwashed to believe they are necessary. I look for women to refuse things and depending on the “thing” I may even encourage it. I will often say… “its completely up to you though, its not required” and they STILL accept it because the doctor told them to do it. I support them every step of the way regardless of their decision because they have to be supported. “Sigh” …. We do have a long way to go….Make sure your soap box is sturdy because there is still a LOT to say.

    In Birth and Love

  3. What an awesome post, I love it! More women need to hear this, need to say this. Great job! For those women who might not be comfortable with home birth, this is much needed advice.

  4. Kay said

    I totally agree! I think anyone, man or woman, should stand up for themselves when it comes to their health care. Just because your doc says to do this or that, doesn’t always mean it’s the right thing for you.

  5. jessica said

    You might already read this or you might have even mentioned it before. I just came across it and thought of you though. Some interesting stuff…

  6. Anne said

    Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment. BTW – that wasn’t pureed oatmeal, it was real grown up oatmeal. He has eaten oatmeal for months and all of sudden decided he doesn’t like it anymore. That and applesauce. I guess I am going to have to find some new breakfast foods.

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