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Well, it’s confirmed.

Posted by Sandra on March 13, 2009

I’m weird.  Yeah yeah, not a surprise to most of you.

I’m officially a blog-surfer-addict.  I love love love being let into other people’s lives, a little bit at a time.  The tags I mostly follow are the childbirth, pregnancy, newborn, toddler, infant nutrition, and teenager tags – obviously the ones closest to home.

I read several blogs yesterday that talked about the first few weeks at home with a new baby, and they all had the same theme.

Stay. Away. From. Everyone.

These were either blogs for visitors – family members and friends of women about to have babies… or blogs for preggos themselves.  Tell visitors not to come over, unplug the phone, blah blah blah… all because you’ll want this time to “recoup”, “recover”, “get settled”,  “whatever”.

Well, again I must go against the grain.

I WANTED a house full of people, from the minute I walked through the door!  When I came home with Ayla, she was .about 5 hours old.  We stopped at Tim Horton’s on the way home, got donuts and mochas for the kids, and walked in the door to Grandma and Grandpa waiting to hold their new grandbaby.  A few hours later, Aunt Deanna came by, then other visitors by the score.   Come see me!  Bring food!! 😀

I LOVED it.  I love passing around the baby (nope, I don’t believe for a millisecond that no one can breathe within three feet of her for six months lest she get the sniffles – I don’t know what nasty diseases these “expert’s” family and friends always have that they say baby should not be around them).  I love feeding people.  I don’t know why every new mom is told she’ll be incapacitated and won’t even want to heat up a bowl of soup – I was able to cook dinners to feed six people the same weekend I had the baby.  I felt great

And I think a lot of new moms would feel better if they knew they were allowed to.  Does that make sense?  This is something my doc said to me… she said new (and veteran!) moms were programmed to think that after childbirth they are to lay around for 72 hours, then go home and be incapacitated for weeks.  Maybe even months.  I wonder if they take the recommendation (and it’s only a recommendation!) to wait six weeks for intercourse as “It will take six weeks for you to be back to YOU”.

And don’t get me wrong – before I get slammed with 300 comments and emails about bad labor experiences or risky c-sections and how you DID need weeks to recover, or health problems that you had that you needed weeks to recover, or baby has a health issue… I’m talking about the vast VAST majority of childbirths, not the exceptions to the rule.

And yes, there’s also those out there that WANTED to be taken care of for days or weeks.  And that’s fine too.  More power to ya.  I don’t like “being taken care of”.

So anyways, that’s my rant for the day.  I just don’t think it should be an across the board YOU WON’T WANT VISITORS (or you SHOULDN’T HAVE VISITORS) FOR WEEKS statement.  I don’t get the whole “stay alone cooped up in the house for weeks after you have a new baby”.  I wanted – NEEDED –  to get out and show off the new blessing, pass them around, have people in, whatever.  Besides, it’s a much needed break when you play “pass the baby” – you can get a shower long enough to shave your legs!

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2 Responses to “Well, it’s confirmed.”

  1. I must say that I disagree…at least for me. I think it’s great that you liked having a house full of people right there and were up and ready to cook for and take care of everyone. But, that’s your personality and (obviously) your personal opinion. Me, on the other hand…although I love being social and having company, at that moment in my life, I really loved the quiet and restfulness that came with having an (almost) empty house when I brought my little one home. I liked having visitors and liked having my mom with us for a while…but I was beat! Especially the first few days. (Although, I had a C-section). And I welcomed the calm quiet of post baby! I just don’t want people to think that it’s not reasonable to want that time to themselves…or maybe even feel like less of a “super-mom” if they don’t want to/can’t pick up with regular life right away. To all their own!

  2. Tracy said

    I’m with you. I had my first a little over a year ago and I wanted people around. Alot of those first few weeks is just holding the baby, nursing and trying to get a few things done. I loved having a relative or girlfriend just spend time with us.

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