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I need to re-invite God…

Posted by Sandra on February 23, 2009

back into my life.

I was doing some thinking last night, as I lay in bed nursing Ayla and listening to the sounds of my wonderful family.  I was thanking God for all that He has blessed me with, but I realized I must do more.  I am a Christian, I was saved many many years ago, but I fear I’ve let God get a little away from me. 

Which is sad, because He’s never forgotten me, nor has He ever left my side.  I just think I haven’t been giving Him the attention He deserves.

I don’t like organized religion at all, some personal experiences when I was younger have made that venue impossible.  I just won’t get up early on a Sunday morning, dress in fancy clothing only worn then, and attend a meeting with others, some of whom are just as tired and just as unwilling to be there as I am.  Yeah, I know the majority are willing participants, and that’s fine.  It’s just not for me.  I don’t believe for one millisecond that I have to show up in a building once (or more) a week to prove how much He means to me, to prove my dedication to Him.  My husband was raised Catholic, but he too doesn’t care for organized religion, probably not to the extent that I do, but I’m a good excuse for him to sleep in on Sundays. So that’s a non-issue. 

But I do find myself thanking Him more and more and more each and every week, and I think that’s a clear sign that I’ve been missing something in my life.  For the past couple of years, I’ve noticed that I’ve let some irritation and anger or even hatred and bigotry seep into my heart at rare times, and I think that’s a warning that He’s not filling the spaces that He should be.  I’ve never been one to direct hate at anyone.  I’ve never felt the ugly emotion of jealousy or bigotry. I rarely even get stressed.  But I find I can’t drive down the street without feeling anger at a fellow driver.  Or I can’t shop in a store without getting irritated at another person.   These are a few examples, there are many more.

I never get angry at my own children, however.  I mean, angry beyond a “normal parenting” angry.  That would be crossing a line, and I would have asked for professional help long before now if that was the case.  My children are my life, and I know that is a huge gift from God.

I know now that I really need to take that negative energy and turn it around.  I need to pray more often.  I need to revisit the Bible.  I need to let Him tell me what He needs me to do for Him.  I need to forgive those who have black hearts, they just don’t know better.  I need not pity others for their choices, their actions, I need to help them see the way.   I need to invite God into our home, to the children.  The boys are familiar with the concepts, but not the details.  Brett and I were talking the other day about the Rapture, and he didn’t know what “saved” meant.  I need to sit with Brett and help him invite God into his heart too.  I need to speak with Justus to see if he’s mature enough to understand.  I need to teach the girls to pray.  I need to get God back.

I know I am so blessed.  I do not take it for granted, not for a minute.  I know God was watching me when he gave me four perfect, healthy children.  When he gave me a loving, devoted husband.  When he gave us all the means to serve Him.  I need to recapture the peace, the love, the hope, the serenity of having God lead the way for our entire family, and I’m getting excited at the prospect.

Last night, I caught a moment of the Oscars, when the producer or director (I’m so sorry, I don’t know who) of Slumdog Millionaire was accepting an award.  He said some words that stuck with me – “When you get up in the morning, you can choose to hate or to love.  I choose to love”.  These are my new words to live by.


7 Responses to “I need to re-invite God…”

  1. […] Geriatric Mama’s Rants created an interesting post today on I need to re-invite Godâ […]

  2. Maggie said

    I like what you had to say here. And love is totally a choice. But I thought I might mention that going to church isn’t so much about fulfilling a quota for God, as it is about finding the company of other believers—i.e. fellowship! Sure, you can worship anywhere you want (in the car, in the shower, etc.), but where else are you going to meet other believers that you can commune with on a regular basis? I go to church every week to learn more about God AND make friends who can lift me up on a daily basis. Just a thought…

    • Sandra said

      Thank you, Maggie, you are right. Perhaps I just haven’t found the “right” church – I guess I would want one a little more ‘laid back’, if that makes sense. I want to have fun, enjoy the fellowship, and not feel like a stuffed shirt, which has been my experiences with churches in the past…

      • Maggie said

        I am totally the same way. I go to a laid back church (jeans, tee shirts, shorts, whatever!) that serves coffee and donuts every Sunday. The last Sunday of every month, they bring in pizza for everyone. It has a great children’s program and the people are so friendly! Best of all, it doesnt start until 10:30…so I don’t have to be up at the crack of dawn!! YAY!

  3. I hear ya… My Dad is a pastor and so I grew up going to church EVERY Sunday. Sadly, now that I am moved away from them I don’t go to church every Sunday… pretty much once or twice a month when we visit my parents… I NEED to find a church! Someone suggested a Saturday evening service that way we can still sleep in on Sundays!

  4. Dusty said

    I think it’s wonderful that you want to start bringing God back into your life, nothing but good can come from it!

    I also agree with a pp that maybe you just haven’t found the right church. It can take some time. In fact, we’re looking for a new church home as well.

  5. Trish said

    I totally connect with what you are saying. I have always had faith and thank God every day for my little guy but lately I’ve been feeling the same way – that I don’t have God in my life like I should or need to. I’m not sure where you’re from but Andy Stanley has an awesome church in Alpharetta, GA. He just brings common sense to his services. You can get them online. I’d have to look and get the website. We’ve recently moved from GA to SD so I am missing the ‘option’ of being able to go to his church but I need to find the website and view his service online. That might work for you too. He just gives real life examples to Bible stories. He’s simply awesome. Now, it is a Baptist church but you would never know it. I just like plain religion, no denominations.

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