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No, you CAN’T sing!

Posted by Sandra on February 2, 2009

Really.  I love you, but singing is not your strong suit.  You make beautiful drawings.  Or you tell great stories.  Or you can play sports or dance or tell jokes or act.  But you can’t sing.

So I won’t lie to you so you go on a national show like American Idol and embarrass yourself, your family, and your friends. 

Would this really be so hard to say to someone?  Well, after watching this year’s auditions, I am struck yet again by how many tone deaf mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers there are in America, encouraging their sons, daughters, and siblings to screech Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey at the top of their lungs on television. 

I’ve heard road kill, at the moment of impact, make prettier sounds than some of these “singers”.

But I don’t blame them.  I blame their mothers, for standing there exclaiming that their baby sings better than anyone they’ve ever heard, ever, and they are the next superstar, and they sing in church and at the fair and in the shower and *deep breath* and and and and GOSH I just love them so much they sing so good.

I don’t, however, blame the co-workers. some friends, and some siblings.  I think they are fully aware of their tonally-challenged buddy and are rolling on the floor holding their guts while laughing hysterically at their friend’s expense.  Sad, but true.

Really, Mom?  Do you not really hear how awful they are?  Truly?  You think that rendition of Over the Rainbow gave us chills because it was beautiful?  No, it gave us chills akin to fingernails on a chalkboard.

Please.  Just say NO, you CAN’T sing!


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