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i’m Wrapping my head in duct tape…

Posted by Sandra on July 29, 2008

Things that make me want to pop a vein (in no particular order):

  • POLITICAL CORRECTNESS BULLSHIT.  There’s too many examples to list on this bandwidth.
  • Drivers who put their brakes on BEFORE putting on their signals.
  • People who forward emails with “urgent” or “informative” crap – BEFORE they check Snopes to find out it’s all bogus.
  • People who drive up the soon-to-be-closed lane on the freeway to try to merge in ahead of everyone else that waited.
  • Tom Cruise.
  • People that falsely think co-sleeping is either dangerous or a “bad habit”.
  • Any loving parenting practice that is called a “bad habit”.
  • Rude people in general.  It’s not hard to be nice.
  • People that think their baby must have teeth to eat anything other than liquid blah from a jar.
    • (special note – you adults, tonite when you’re eating dinner, chew only with your front teeth – after all, that’s the only teeth babies have for quite a while!)
  • Cyberbullies.
  • People with 20 items in the 15 items or less lane at the grocery store. 
  • Pre-teens in public places that disrespect the rules, just because they think they’re “cool”.
  • Doctors who give parenting advice. 
  • Ear zits.
  • People that can’t get over breasts.  They’re not reproductive organs, they’re nothing – they’re there to feed my baby.  You say they’re sexual – well, so are toes to some people.  Doesn’t mean I get offended seeing bare feet.
  • Barney.  You know, the purple monstrosity.
  • Al Gore.  ‘Nuff Said.
  • People with no kids that give parenting advice.
  • Scientology bullshit.
  • Misuse of there/their/they’re, hear/here, etc. etc. etc. ETC.!!!
  • People who make fun of other people’s kids.  That is the definition of pathetic.
  • Puberty.  Not for me.  I don’t remember it.  But for my kids.
  • Migraines.
  • People giving unsolicited parenting advice – I have four, trust me, I have it under control.
  • Liberal media.
  • Parenting books.  None were ever written about your specific child, therefore it won’t answer all of your questions…  They are better used for kindling, or to level that wobbly table.
  • Scaremongering.  A rapist isn’t waiting in your bushes every minute of every day.  Get out and enjoy your life.
  • Know-it-Alls. 
  • Lymphedema.
  • Slow drivers.  I have better things to do than sit in my car.  It’s the skinny one on the right, lady.
  • Britney.  We’re over you.  Go away.
  • “I could care less”.  This error is like fingernails on a chalkboard to me.  If you can, then DO.  Please.
  • Neighbors with no kids and no lives that mow their lawns 5 times a week, seemingly just to make my normal lawn look crappy.  I may go on a mowing strike – maybe they’ll do it for me.  They obviously have the time.
  • Democrats.  ‘Nuff said there too.
  • Morons on birthboards who toss about insults like they’re holier-than-thou.  Get a clue.  You’re an idiot and no one cares what you think.
  • Grammatical errors in any newscast.  I’m sure the local news has my email on a “block” list because I like to point out their mistakes.  Not only spoken, but on the tickers and other words that go across the bottom of the screen.  Need a new editor?  Please call me.  I’m available.

Okay, I think that’s enough blood-boiling for a Tuesday! 😀

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One Response to “i’m Wrapping my head in duct tape…”

  1. April said

    Hi,

    Just wanted to let you know I really enjoy reading your blog. I have a December 2007 baby. I visit the BabyCenter board daily, just rarely post. I, like you, am an AP Mama. It’s so refreshing to see someone who agrees with me on so many parenting tactics and have information to back it up. I especially liked when you said, “Any loving parenting practice that is called a “bad habit”. in your blog today. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling lately.

    Anyway, just wanted to give you a thumbs up. Your family is beautiful! Aren’t chubby babies precious? My December baby is big too! She’s 22lbs. and 27 1/2 inches tall. I just bought her some 18 month jammies last night! Wow!! Take care and keep blogging!!

    April Rhoda

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