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You shouldn’t have to ask…

Posted by Sandra on March 26, 2008

 

Apparently, a typical conversation in a home with young children is as follows:

MOM:  Honey, I want to take a shower.  Can you watch the baby?

or

MOM (out with friends):  Oh, Daddy is babysitting tonite.

WHAT???? Say again?  Daddy is babysitting

 

Other conversations:

MOM (to older child):  Where is Daddy?

OLDER CHILD:  He went up to take a shower.

Uh uh uh… wait a minute… I don’t see in this conversation where he asked Mom to watch the kids for him.   Does he also ask mom to babysit when he goes to work or goes out with his friends?  And since “babysit” generally means a service, is there payment involved?

 

I’m sorry, moms.  You do not have to ask permission.  Yes, it’s respectful and nice to say something like, “Hey, I’d like to make a hair appointment on Saturday, are you free to take the kids to the park/movies/stay at home with them?”  Obviously – this is common manners.  But if you’re both relaxing on the couch and you need to use the bathroom, you should never have to ASK if you can.  Simply saying “here’s the baby, I’m running to the bathroom/shower/kitchen” is fine.

The baby’s daddy is a partner, not an outside observer there to care for the child only when you have something else that needs to be done.  He is 50% of this baby.  It doesn’t matter whether he works out of the home 60 hours a week and you are a SAHM.  You work IN the home 24 hours a day.  You are equals.  Period. 

The next time your significant other leaves the room to do anything, see if he ASKS you to watch the babies while he’s out of the room.  My bet is he doesn’t.  And society has conditioned him so.  This has nothing to do with “femininism”, it has to do with parenting.

All done now

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