Children's Shows Rant

Yo Gabba Gabba is just plain creepy.  When I see a man in an orange jumpsuit, all I can think about is “inmate”.

The duck on Wonderpets needs intervention.  Bad.  A lisping role model is not really ideal.

I can’t put my finger on it, but something is wrong with Lazy Town.  It disturbs me.  On many levels.

The chick that does the voice on Wow Wow Wubbzy is the same one that does the Squirrel on Sponge Bob.  That voice makes me want to peel my skin off my face.  Please make it stop.

Someone please tell Ruby that she doesn’t need to begin and end every sentence with the word Max.  And interject it in the middle.  I’m fairly certain she says his name at least 3,629 times per episode.  If you’re the only two people in a room, I’m certain he knows you’re talking to him.

And where, exactly, are Max & Ruby’s parents, while they’re galavanting at the mall and all over town??

Change Sesame Street’s theme song back to the fun sing-song one it used to be.  Not the crap “rap” version it is now.

Let the Cookie Monster eat all the cookies he wants, for God’s sakes.  No kid gets obese from watching a muppet eat sweets.  It’s because the mom drives to the store and buys them, then lets her kid eat them 24 hours a day.

Bring back the Electric Company.  Like it used to be.

Shouldn’t Barney be dead by now?  What exactly is the lifespan of a dinosaur?  They didn’t live this long a billion years ago, for God’s sakes.

The Spider Dad on “Ms. Spider” is scary looking.  I’m all for scary – my kids love horror movies from as soon as they can sit and watch one – but this dude is eerie.

 

Now for some praise.

I can listen to Dora all day.  Really.  I don’t even mind that they’re teaching Spanish in my country, which should only speak English.  I just like the show.

The kids on the Backyardigans can SING.  They’re amazing!  I’m guessing it’s studio-enhanced, but I don’t care.

The best cartoon – no, the best SHOW – EVAH - is Family Guy.  It should be required viewing for all parents so they can work the bugs out of their uptight butts and have a few laughs.